Bullying isn’t just a childhood problem—it can leave scars that last a lifetime. Many kids who experience bullying struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem, and trust issues well into adulthood. For some, the effects are so deep that they impact mental health, relationships, and even career choices. Bullying isn’t just about mean words or playground politics – it’s a form of trauma that can shape someone’s entire life story.

Let’s explore why some people struggle to let go, what goes on in our brains when we deal with ongoing harassment, and, most importantly, how we can support both kids and adults in breaking free from the lasting effects of bullying.

What Makes Bullying a Form of Trauma?

Anyone who has ever been bullied will tell you that bullying isn’t a one-time episode. It usually happens in places where kids can’t escape from, like schools or social media, and because of that, bullying can go on for months or even years. Imagine having to walk into a place every single day knowing that someone might hurt or humiliate you. That’s the kind of stress that rewires your brain’s threat detection system.

When kids deal with bullying day in and day out, their bodies and minds are always on high alert – similar to what someone goes through after experiencing any other type of trauma. This ongoing cycle of prolonged and repeated stress aligns with Terr’s idea of “Type II trauma.” This repetitiveness is what leads to chronic trauma symptoms.

Then, we have the whole unpredictability factor of bullying. Kids who are bullied often feel like they’re walking on eggshells, unsure of when the next hit may occur. Being in this constant state of alertness is what trauma researchers refer to as “hypervigilance,” and honestly, it can be exhausting.

But bullying can attack something even more fundamental – a child’s sense of self-worth. When you’re young and still figuring out who you are, hearing things like “you’re not good enough” or “you don’t belong” can become deeply embedded in your self-image. It’s like writing on wet cement; once it sets, those negative messages can be really hard to erase.

That’s why mental health experts now recognize bullying as a legitimate form of trauma, especially when it happens over and over again. This recognition fits with the idea that bullying is a type of interpersonal trauma that can cause symptoms that are pretty similar to what victims of other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) go through.

Seeing bullying as a form of trauma helps us recognize its seriousness and find better ways to address it. Just like with any other type of trauma, the effects of bullying can be overcome with the right support and interventions.

How Bullying Affects the Developing Brain

Bullying goes far beyond nasty words and hurt feelings—it can actually cause structural and functional changes in the brain. When teens experience chronic stress from bullying, their brains adapt to that stress, which can have lasting effects on their emotions, learning, and behavior.

Here’s what’s actually happening up there:

  • Structural Changes in the Brain: Studies have shown that bullying can change the size of the brain. Overactivity can make some parts of the brain bigger, like the hippocampus and fusiform gyrus, and some parts smaller, like the entorhinal cortex and superior parietal cortex. Since these parts of the brain are in charge of memory, emotional regulation, and social interactions, kids who are bullied may struggle with anxiety, emotional control, and forming healthy relationships.
  • Stress Response and Brain Chemistry: The fight-or-flight system in the brain works extra hard when someone is being bullied. This can make people more anxious, angry, and impulsive, even when there isn’t any real threat. This extra stress can change the way kids’ brains work over time, making it harder for them to stay calm, deal with their feelings, and think clearly when things get tough.
  • Impact on Emotional and Cognitive Development: Brain areas that help regulate emotions, like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, can be harmed by bullying. This can make it harder for kids to control their emotions, which can cause mood swings, trouble focusing, and issues with problem-solving. This can cause lower academic performance and trouble getting along with others.

The good news is that our brains are incredibly adaptable. With the right support and coping strategies, these changes can be mitigated or reversed.

Mental Health Effects of Bullying

Bullying can have a profound effect on a person’s mental health, especially for kids and teens. Here are the main ways bullying messes with kids’ mental well-being:

  • Anxiety and Depression: There’s a strong connection between bullying and a higher chance of experiencing anxiety and depression. Kids who have been victimized often deal with ongoing feelings of fear, worry, and sadness, which can take a toll on their emotional well-being. Children who are bullied are 1.56 times more likely to develop anxiety disorders and 1.80 times more likely to face major depressive disorders.
  • Issues with Self-Esteem and Confidence: Bullying can cause long-term damage to self-esteem, leading to a loss of confidence and self-worth. This can impact different areas of life, like how well you do in school and how you connect with others.
  • Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors: Kids who are bullied are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Bullying can cause so much emotional pain that it becomes too much to handle, which can lead to severe mental health crises. One study found that bully victims had the highest rates of suicidal ideation (26.1%) and attempts (11.1%).
  • Psychotic Symptoms and Self-Harm: In severe cases, bullying can cause some pretty intense psychotic symptoms, like delusions or hallucinations and self-harming behaviors. A meta-analysis showed that victims of bullying had a two to three times higher risk of experiencing psychotic symptoms.

Bullying can happen in a lot of different ways, such as through physical, verbal, social exclusion, and online. Depending on the type of bullying, they can have different effects on mental health.

  • Physical Bullying: This type of bullying can lead to both physical harm and psychological effects, like low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. When there’s a real chance of getting hurt, it can ramp up feelings of fear and vulnerability.
  • Verbal Bullying: Verbal bullying tends to be the most common type of bullying for both genders. Verbal abuse, like name-calling and insults, can take a toll on someone emotionally, often resulting in anxiety and depression. 
  • Social Bullying: Being socially excluded or ostracized can make someone feel isolated and lonely, and those feelings are closely tied to depression and anxiety. Social bullying can really hurt because it impacts friendships and can be tough to get away from.
  • Cyberbullying: Cyberbullying can make kids feel more vulnerable and anxious because it’s everywhere and it’s tough to get away from. Teens who have been victimized feel a lot of stress and fear. Around 30% of teens have reported being cyberbullied at some point in their lives.
  • Sexual Harassment and Other Forms: Being bullied based on your race, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation, and gender identity can take a massive toll on your mental health. Teens often experience heightened anxiety and depression because the harassment feels so personal and targeted.

As you can see, the overall impact on mental health tends to be pretty similar. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem often pop up as common effects of various types of bullying.

Long-Term Consequences of Bullying

Bullying doesn’t always end when childhood does. For many kids, the trauma sticks with them, affecting their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors well into adulthood. This happens because bullying can create a cycle of trauma, where the emotional wounds never fully heal, leading to ongoing challenges with self-esteem, relationships, and mental health.

Here’s how childhood bullying can shape adult life:

  • Physical Health Problems: Childhood bullying doesn’t just mess with your mental health; it can also cause some pretty serious physical health issues down the line. Studies show that kids who experience bullying are at a higher risk of developing heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure as they get older. They’re also more likely to struggle with obesity and metabolic issues, increasing their chances of developing diabetes and other chronic conditions. On top of that, many experience sleep disturbances like nightmares, night terrors, and even sleepwalking, which can affect their overall well-being.
  • Mental Health Problems: In addition to the increased risks of depression and anxiety disorders, adults may also develop PTSD symptoms, like flashbacks and avoidant behaviors, as a result of bullying. There’s also an increased risk of developing substance use disorders and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly when it’s paired with a tough home situation. And if you were bullied for the way you looked, you also have a high risk of developing eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia as you get older.
  • Career and Financial Impact: Adults who were bullied as kids are twice as likely to struggle with maintaining employment. Many tend to have issues with workplace relationships, which can affect their ability to move up in their careers. Since bullying can affect your academic performance, it can also limit your career options and ultimately affect how much you earn. Since bullying takes a toll on both physical and mental health, adults often end up facing higher healthcare costs. This just adds more financial stress to their lives.
  • Relationship Challenges: Adults who were bullied as kids often struggle with building and maintaining healthy relationships. Since trust issues are common among these adults, it makes it hard for them to open up to others, especially in romantic relationships. Many struggle with insecure attachment styles, where they either shy away from emotional closeness or become too dependent because they’re afraid of being rejected.

Healing from this trauma takes time, a lot of patience, and the right support. Even though some experiences stick with us forever, they don’t have to define our future. With the right tools, both kids and adults can break the cycle, boost their confidence, and keep moving forward with strength and resilience.

Breaking Free: Healing Strategies and Support Systems

Whether you’re a teen currently experiencing bullying or an adult still struggling with past trauma, there are definitely ways to move past it and rebuild your confidence. Healing is a journey, and every little step counts along the way.

Here are a few healing strategies for teens:

  • Talk About It: Don’t bottle up your feelings; it can really complicate things. Talk to a trusted friend, parent, teacher, or counselor about what you’re going through. You’re not alone, and support is available.
  • Set Healthy Boundaries: If someone is mistreating you, it’s totally fine to walk away, block them online, or reach out to someone in charge for support. It’s important to stand up against bullying.
  • Practice Self-Care: Doing things that make you feel good, such as exercising, journaling, creating art, or listening to music, can help lower stress and lift your self-esteem.
  • Join Positive Communities: Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. Joining clubs, sports teams, or online groups that share your interests can help you feel like you belong.
  • Seek Professional Support: Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you work through your feelings, learn how to cope better, and strengthen your resilience. Talking with a mental health professional can change things for the better.

Here are a few healing strategies for adults:

  • Recognize the Impact: Many adults don’t realize how much bullying has shaped their thoughts and behaviors. Acknowledge your past experiences so you can start the healing process.
  • Challenge Negative Beliefs: If you’re dealing with self-doubt or the fear of being rejected, just remember that what happened in the past doesn’t determine your value. Be kind to yourself and try to speak positively about who you are.
  • Build Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who respect and appreciate you. It’s important to move on from those toxic relationships that leave you feeling unworthy or drained.
  • Engage in Empowering Activities: Find hobbies or activities that make you happy, boost your confidence, and let you express who you are. This could be anything—like fitness, creative arts, or even volunteering.
  • Therapy and Counseling: Talking to a therapist can help you sort through past trauma, boost your confidence, and build healthier relationship habits. Therapy is a great space to heal at your own pace.

Healing isn’t something you have to do alone. Friends, family, mentors, teachers, and therapists can all play a role in your recovery.

Affective Therapies for Teens & Adults

Therapies focus on helping both teens and adults process their emotions, develop healthy coping skills, and build resilience. It also helps reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges linked to bullying. While everyone responds differently, the key is to find a therapy that feels right for you.

Here are some effective therapies for teens and adults:

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is widely recognized as an effective treatment for bullying. It helps you identify and change negative thought patterns, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve emotional regulation. Studies have shown that CBT significantly reduces anxiety, depression, and the physical and emotional toll of bullying.
  • Group Therapy: Talking with others who have experienced similar struggles reduces feelings of isolation and builds confidence. Sharing stories and coping strategies in a safe space helps teens and adults realize they are not alone.
  • Holistic Therapies: Therapies like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and art therapy help teens and adults manage anxiety and stress and improve emotional regulation. These practices create a sense of calm and control.
  • Trauma-Informed Therapy: This approach acknowledges that bullying is a form of trauma. It helps adults process their experiences in a safe, supportive environment, reducing lingering emotional distress.
  • Psychodynamic Therapy: By exploring how past bullying experiences impact current emotions and behaviors, this therapy helps adults understand and manage their responses to stress and relationships.
  • Family Therapy: Bullying affects not just the individual but the entire family. Family therapy helps parents and teens communicate better, rebuild trust, and create a supportive home environment.

Healing from bullying and trauma takes time, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Hope’s Destiny, we offer a wide range of evidence-based therapies to support both teens and adults on their journey to recovery. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply decide to start healing. It’s not about having all the answers; it’s about taking that first brave step toward feeling better.

No matter where you are on your journey, we’re here to walk with you. Reach out to Hope’s Destiny today, and let’s take that first step together.